The Dangerously Attractive Guys of the Internet
by TheTickoftheClock
Summary: An anything but Cliche twoshot. Max is just chatting with her friend on the internet, but something mysterious gets in the way and she has an epiphany. Read, or we'll send Fang after you. Written with Kalistik-Cheryzia on DeviantArt. :) You'll realize something too, when you read this. FANG IS A CREEPER :D THIS IS A CRACKFIC. READ FOR LAUGHS.
1. Chapter 1

Max sat beside her bedroom window, staring at the moon and the stars, surrounded by the dark of the sky. It was beautiful out there. Up in the sky... Sometimes, when Max was little, she would just stare out the window and wish she had wings so that she could go up there and sleep on a cloud.

Of course, now she knew that clouds were just masses of evaporated water and she'd fall right through, but she still couldn't help wishing for those wings.

Bing.

Her chat box dinged, and finally iwillnotbe*silenced got on.

Max sighed. Well, it was better than no one. She clicked to type a message, not really giving it all that much thought. "Hi," she wrote, and then hit send. The bing went off as it computed, and she glanced out the window once more. Clouds... Just as she was relaxing again, the loud ding of a message coming in sounded. Yikes! This particular user, it seemed, had a knack for surprising her with the timing of their responses. Max turned her head and gave the screen a cursory look, not really that interested- Until she saw what was written on it.

iwillnotbe*silenced: I need to tell you something.

The other user wrote. That was ominous. Max started to be a little freaked out, she looked perplexed for a few moments before replying.

: Umm... What?

iwillnotbe*silenced: Dangit. Nevermind. I can't do it.

: Well, now you have to say it. You can't just say, "I have something to tell you," and then not tell me.

iwillnotbe*silenced: Well, I guess you'll have to wait until I can.

: What the crap? Fine. I getting off. Don't tell me.

Max waited for the bing to let her know that he would tell her, but it didn't come. Well, I guess Reverse Psychology doesn't work on everyone. She waited a while longer, but still no reply. Finally, she shut her laptop and placed it on her desk. Walking over to the window, she shut the translucent, white curtains. Just enough light spilled through so that she could walk to her bed without stubbing her toes on anything. She sunk into the covers of her bed and stared at the ceiling.

What could be so important that he would be so mysterious about saying it? I think I'm falling in love with this guy. He's just so mysterious... Mysterious guys are so my type. Max thought about the mysterious stranger for a while more, sighing just to get the message across every so often. Then she decided she was stankin' up the place enough, so she needed to take a shower.

Max walked into the bathroom, totally disregarding the fact that it was 11:00 at night and she hadn't slept for 18 hours. Love makes people crazy, I guess.

Max took a long shower, and started to sing.

Rock and roll, baby, don't you know / That we're all alone now? / I need something to sing about / Rock and roll, honey, don't you know baby / We're all alone now? / I need something to sing about / Rock and roll, hey, don't you know, baby / We're all alone now? / Give me something to sing about.

Max was thinking about iwillnotbe*silenced again, and she couldn't help thinking about meeting him in person. She jumped out of the shower, smacking her head on the curtain rod because she was so enthusiastic about her jumping. Max make a little crying noise like a small animal and then pouted a little. She was actually fine. She wrapped a towel around herself, and looked around. Good. No one saw that. She went back into her room, pulled her pajamas out of a drawer, and put them on. They had cute little penguins on them, which for some reason made her think more about iwillnotbe*silenced, like everything did suddenly. She was super excited to go back to her computer for a bit longer. And talk to him again. More. Forever, if possible.

She sat down in front of the keyboard. She was like an alcoholic, and iwillnotbe*silenced was a six pack of beer. She could just drink him all in... She started to type furiously.

: Heyy... What do you look like?

iwillnotbe*silenced: I'm glad you asked...

: You are...? :)

iwillnotbe*silenced: The only thing as delicious as my cooking is my muscular six pack. I have long, luscious black hair, like on a shampoo commercial or something, especially when I wave it around in the wind and do hair flips. I'm really stealthy and you'll never see me coming, except, not like in a creepy way or anything. I don't mind a little cleaning, if you know what I mean- As long as what I mean is cleaning. I love long walks on the beach at sunset, candlelit dinners, and all of that stuff you girls dig. I love drawing beauteous portraits of my girlfriends, but I haven't drawn that many, because I'm as loyal as a dog, only with less slobber. (Unless you're into that.) And my favorite movie is the titanic, and my favorite song is a tie between Love Story by my gurl T-Swift, or The Only Exception, by Paramore. So just picture your perfect guy, I'm him.

It had only been a few seconds since she asked the question... He must be a really fast typist. Even more reason to love him. He even liked to clean! Max was just about to respond, but another bing sounded.

iwillnotbe*silenced: So, what about you?

: Oh, you're so smooth... teehee

iwillnotbe*silenced: Oh, I know that. Smoother than our baby's bottom.

iwillnotbe*silenced: Oops, did I just say that? Sorry, I'm sort of a psychic. But seriously, what do you look llikkkee?

: Well, I have long, slightly curly, honey colored hair, and red lips that are soft. And my eyes look like un-barfed chocolate. My feet are really cute, too.

iwillnotbe*silenced: I knew it! You are the girl I saw in my vision!

: Vision!?

Suddenly, the computer turned off. A sign!? No. It had started raining while she was in the shower, and a power line had been blown over outside. Well... At least she could get some sleep now. But she couldn't stop thinking about iwillnotbe*silenced! He seemed so eager to know about her! She suppressed a fangirl squee, but it took a lot of effort. Finally, she left her chair, and crawled into bed, tucking herself in and shutting off the small lamp that had been lighting her room. She fell asleep almost instantly, as soon as she let herself.

Whoah! She was in a bright white room. A smokin' hot dude was across a table from her, drinking Starbucks. So hot. Starbucks was, by far, the hottest brand of coffee. Max could almost imagine being that cup of coffee... Next to his lips... Back to the guy. He had long, black hair, and a face that could only be described with one superlative: The sexiest. This was iwillnotbe*silenced! Max couldn't believe she was actually meeting him! Even if it was in a dream! She made her best puppy dog eyes at him.

"Wow... You're so... Awesome..." she said, blushing.

"Oh, I know I am... " he said, "and you're not too shabby yourself." He gave her a wink, and smiled the hottest smile.

"What's your name..?" Max asked, enraptured by his hair.

He leaned in close to her, so that their noses were almost touching. He was going to tell her, this was the moment. His mouth opened, and he said... "iwillnotbe*silenced."

"I meant your actual name!" Max was a little angry, but not for long. She couldn't stay angry for long at someone so terribly attractive.

He showed his teeth. "Fang." he said.

"That's not your real name either!" Max shouted, a little annoyed again that he was teasing her.

Before either of them could say anything else, they started sliding away from each-other at a fast pace, as penguins began appearing around them, quacking and quacking, obscuring Fang and his words from her view!

She woke up with a gasp, like people in movies and stuff do all the time. She felt like she was in a movie...

Anyways. That man... Fang, supposedly... The things she would do to this so called Fang. Daang. So gay attractive.

* * *

**go to Gizoogle . com for some extra reading, and put this in the textalizer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers! **

**So, this is a notice if you would like to still read my stuff. Due to some identity issues with my account lately, and wanting to start over, I have created a new account, I will not delete this one, and I will still read any reviews I get, I will check whenever I get on to my other account, and there has been a bunch of other stuff that has caused me to do this as well. **

**So, as I'm starting over, I thought you might want to follow me. If you do, you can find me at ChemicallyBurned. I have a blog to go along with my new account, where you see previews and news updates for new stories and new chapters. I may move two of my stories that I've loved, and I have one story already started, though it hasn't been uploaded to ****fan fiction yet. I will be releasing a release date and a small preview on my blog, as well as pictures or anything I do for my stories. You will be up to date on any of my stories if you follow my blog, and you can get exclusive information. The summary for my upcoming story has already been released on my blog, and more is coming soon.**

**chemiburned dot blogspot dot com**

**I hope you at least check it out, and maybe try to see when my new story will come out, and which two I will be carrying over onto my new account. Thanks for taking the time to read this. ;)**

**~Dez (Chemi)**


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